Epilogue

The end has come!

I've been trying to write this post for quite some time, but it's been hard. How do you sum up two of the most critical and formative years in your life? It's impossible. And that's how it got to be February before I could finally close out this blog.

Leaving Mozambique was a very strange feeling. Put every emotion from excitement to fear to regret to hope in a blender, blend it all up, and that's what it's like. Mavudzi was my home, my world, and my life for two years, and I will always remember it fondly. However, it was also a struggle, and after two years, I was ready to move on -- with both my life and my career.

I'm back in Texas now. (Possible new spin-off blog: "From Tete to Texas: Readjustment Woes of an RPCV") Every day, I enjoy a warm bed, no bugs in my room, hot showers, and home-cooked food. I'm working, too -- I teach an adult ESL class here in San Antonio. However, on a daily basis, I miss my people -- my students, Quizito, Laura, Redi, Páscoa, other volunteers... I don't think that will ever go away.

Mozambique seems very far away to me now, both spatially and temporally, but it will always be close to me in my heart. I think it goes without saying that I am eternally grateful to everyone who was a part of my life in Mozambique.

And thus, two months late, I officially declare an end to this blog. There were so many things I never got around to writing about, but I hope that it accurately portrayed the ups and downs of my life as a Peace Corps volunteer anyway, and I hope that it will help other people make the decision to do something positive with their lives, whether that's joining Peace Corps, doing a mission trip, or volunteering in their home communities.

Thanks for reading. It's been fun.

Até a proxima!

Closing out my last few days of teaching.

My neighbors threw me an awesome goodbye party.

Moz 23, who replaced us, waits to hear their placements.

Coming full circle to say goodbye to Mamá.

Getting my "R" and hanging out with JFK.

We made it through together!

Some photos of our travels: Swaziland

Riding 4x4s in the desert of Namibia.

Namibia: Absolutely stunning.

Cape Town. One of my favorite cities in the world.

Merry Christmas from Germany with the family!

And Happy New Year!

At 10:45 a.m., I officially became a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer!

Closure

It's been a whirlwind few days! Last week, I was in Namaacha, helping to train new volunteers, and this week I'm in Maputo, the big city, getting poked and prodded and going through mountains of paperwork to officially close my Peace Corps Service.

I have so many things backed up to write about. They're all written in a little Moleskin notebook that I've been carrying around with me so I don't forget all these experiences/feelings. Unfortunately, it's just too hectic to blog properly right now. Plus, I sold my computer!

Tomorrow morning, I'll 'get my R', as Peace Corps volunteers call it -- going from a PCV to an RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer). Kind of a big deal! The next day, Lisa and I head out directly on a trek through Swaziland, South Africa, and Namibia. Eventually, I'll show up dirty and exhausted 

Expect many photos/blog posts to follow!

In the mean time... it's been real. Peace.

Well, this is awkward...

So, uh...I've been kind of busy and quite a bit has happened since my last blog post. I really meant to write a few blog posts before leaving site, but... nao deu certo.

Last weekend, I went to Chimoio for a goodbye party for Moz 19 (my training group). Then, the next week we had site visitors, trainees that are currently in Namaacha learning how to be successful volunteers. I had two visitors come to Mavudzi, Helena and Annie. The Helen/Helena thing was pretty confusing, haha! After they left, I packed my bags, we had a big old party on Friday night and on Saturday morning, I left Mavudzi for good. I had lunch with my friends in Tete City, and then stepped on a plane and left Tete.

Weird.

This week, I'm in Namaacha helping out with training like I did last year. I'm here for a week, and they keep us pretty busy the whole time. Next week, I'll be doing all the out-processing stuff for finishing volunteers, and on the 20th I will officially be an RPCV, a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer.

Hopefully I will have time to update my blog at some point between now and then, but if I don't, just know that I'm very busy, but I promise I will get around to writing about all of the wonderful/crazy/sad/weird stuff that's been going on.

Ate ja!

We Painted a Map!

Last weekend, my REDES girls and some interested boys from the English Theater group joined together and painted a giant world map on the side of the school! This project was a long time coming -- I've been thinking about doing it since I first got here -- and it finally happened, just two short weeks before my departure!

How to Paint an HIV World Map in 10 Easy Steps

1. Submit a grant request through Peace Corps Grants Online portal. The ridiculously horrible interface may make you want to kill yourself. Do not listen to the urge.
2. Once approved, buy paint, brushes, pencils, etc.
3. If you can, borrow a projector. At night, set it up and trace the world map image onto your selected wall. Expect LOTS of onlookers.
4. The next day, trace the outlines of countries in the colors you want them. Carefully prepare little doses of paint and teeny-tiny paint-brushes for students to use, so they don't make a mess. Nothing could go wrong!
5. CHAOS ENSUES!
6. After everyone is covered in paint, hopefully the wall is also covered in kind of the right colors in more or less the right areas. 
7. Don't forget to paint the Peace Corps symbol in the corner! 
8. Have each student "sign" their name by making and signing a hand-print next to the map. 
9. When the paint is dry, go back and label all the countries with a permanent marker with the HIV/AIDS infection rate. As much as you try, you will label some countries wrong. ("Oh, that's Guatemala!?)
10. MAP COMPLETE! Throw a party! Play some games! Let everyone feast their eyes on the glory of everyone's hard work.

Our map was a lot of fun to make. We did it all within one weekend, starting Thursday evening and finishing Sunday morning. The next Saturday (yesterday), we threw a big party, cooked a delicious meal of rice and beans with salad and grilled chicken, and then played a Geography/AIDS trivia game, sang songs, and played other games. It was a HUGE success, everyone enjoyed themselves, and while they were singing their favorite song (which involves stomping as a group in a big rhythmic circle) I got a warm fuzzy and sad feeling regarding the fact that I'll be leaving this wonderful place in just two weeks. What a wonderful place to live.

Phase 1: Green paint

Starting to fill in the ocean!

Everyone takes turns to paint.

Peace Corps symbol!

Suzeta signs her name.

Redi writes in AIDS info.

DANCE PARTY!

The final product.

Isn't our school pretty now?

Moçambique!

The whole team!

Elephant vs. Human

Today, is presidential election day in Mozambique.Weeks of intense campaigning for the three major political parties (Frelimo, Renamo, and MDM) have all been leading up to this day.

We knew it was going to be a big day. We didn't think it would be because of an elephant attack.

Just before noon today, a wandering elephant, descended from the nearby mountains, came across a group of kids fishing at the riverside. The kids screamed, the startled elephant charged, and the kids fled. Unfortunately, the youngest tripped and fell on the rocky riverbed, and the elephant scooped her up with his tusks and flung her onto the hot rocks. She died in the hospital shortly thereafter.

The first inkling I had that something was wrong was all the people running by our house, shouting "Ndzou! Ndzou!" (Elephant!). My colleagues were all frantically searching for their kids to make sure they were OK. In a community where everyone normally moves at a snail's pace -- why hurry when there's nowhere to go and nothing to do? -- it was weird to see so many people running all over the place. Some were running toward the elephant, some were running away.

"Stay inside!" Our colleagues said. Laura and I, of course, having heard about how dangerous elephants can be, made the responsible decision and... grabbed our cameras and went to see what all the fuss was about.

By the time we got there, the elephant was pretty far away. I saw it from a distance, a black splotch in the distant foothills. Laura went with a group of people to get closer, and I stayed behind to talk to some people about what happened.

The girl that was killed was a first grader, the youngest of four siblings. She was sickly and weak, and couldn't run well. As I walked home, I passed the family's house, surrounded by crying people with their heads in their hands. The father was sitting on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.

The death of an elephant is sad, especially in a country like Mozambique, where the majority of the wild elephants were killed during the wars. However, the heartbroken, inconsolable wailing of that girl's father was the saddest sound I've ever heard, and I understood why a bunch of men immediately went to get their guns.

Laura ended up following the hunting party, an watching them shoot and kill the elephant. It was a traumatizing experience that I'm glad I didn't witness.

The death of such a majestic creature is sad, but there were no better options. The aggressive male could have easily come back and killed more people. Additionally, the meat from the dead elephant will feed the whole village for weeks, during a time of year when many peoples food stores have run out.

They say there were three other elephants that ran away back into the mountains. I hope that they stay there, both for their own sakes and that of the Mavudzi population. Unfortunately, their world is slowly disappearing due to expanding human settlement, and this kind of tragedy will surely repeat itself.

My thoughts today are with the child's grieving family.

The dying elephant. (Photo by Laura Mandel)

Pictures

Today, I'm posting photos. I have less than one month left in Mavudzi, and I want to spend every minute of it soaking up all the things I'm going to miss and not blogging. So, without further ado, here are the novidades.

Our REDES girls learn about women in the workforce.

Taking the baby for a walk.

Love this "translation"

Quizito rides with a student of his.

"Teacher, I brought a dead birdie to give the cat."

Crianças and kittens

D'awwwwww

Learning about geography!

This little dude was still in his momma's belly when I came here.

The kittens are growing fast!

"My little buddy." (Kid looks a little scared...?)

Books

Books have been an important part of my life as long as I can remember. In fact, one of my earliest memories is of sitting on my dad's lap, reading a book about sleeping animals and stumbling over the phrase "Sheep sleep" -- well, you try saying that three times fast! One time, after my brother and I had spent all day inside reading, my mom kicked us out for some "fresh air," and we  just plopped down on the front lawn on top of our sleds and continued to read. I must have read my favorite book, The Giver, at least two dozen times.

And yet, when I got older, something happened to me that has happened to a lot of people: I stopped reading. Well, not really -- I was studying at Rice, and I reading more than ever before. But after hours or poring over badly-scanned PDF pages about Finno-Urgic agglutinative morphemes or vowel length in Bantu languages, all you really want to do is sink into the couch and watch Friends until your brains slowly ooze out of your ears. Coffee, TV, an friends slowly monopolized my increasingly limited free time, and books fell by the wayside.

Then I joined the Peace Corps, and everything changed. For the first time in many years, I had no coffee and no TV, but I did have enormous amounts of free time. So I picked up a book (I, Robot) and read it. I liked it, so I read another one (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?) and I liked that one too.

Then I set a goal for myself: A hundred and one books in two years. And I got to reading.

This morning, two years and many pages later, I closed the cover on the last book. Yes, I've finished, with 29 days to spare! I've read fiction and non-fiction, history, biography, comedy, tragedy, short stories and monstrosities -- and all were first-time reads.

Phew!

I'd like to take a moment to thank Mrs H., who, aside from sending me several books that I particularly enjoyed, has always been so supportive and kind. She taught me from a young age to love books, and always has fantastic book suggestions. Thanks for teaching me to love reading!

I hope that, wherever life takes me from here, I will be able to make time to keep reading. I probably won't be able to read quite this much, but I'd like to think that I'll be able to take an hour out here and there for a good read. There really isn't anything else like it!

Hey, when was the last time you read a good book?

English Theater Competition 2014

OK, maybe they don't look that riveted...

A nervous murmur filled the air as one hundred expectant secondary school students sat, waiting. After months of preparation, finally the big day was here!

I took a breath, stepped onto the stage, and took a deep breath.

"Welcome, everyone, to English Theater 2014!" I said, smiling broadly.

I, too, had been preparing for the big day for months. This year, in addition to helping Laura coach our kids with their ten-minute skit, I was in charge of coordinating the whole competition.

"Scene One: At School"

Though I was paranoid that something terribly awful would go wrong, the day actually went really smoothly. The groups presented their skits -- some of them funny, some serious, some...well... a bit boring, but they all worked hard and showed off their skills with pride. One skit was about a group of siblings trying to convince their parents to let them finish school.  Another dealt with a girl whose family forces her into prostitution, and she eventually gets HIV. Heavy stuff.

This guy very reluctantly ended
up playing the leading lady.

My own group's skit was about a young couple who, after a disagreement on whether or not to use condoms, go to the hospital and find out one of them is HIV positive. This was particularly challenging for our kiddos since all two girls in our club dropped out two weeks before the competition, so we ended up having some cross-dressing. Still, they dealt with it like champs, and this year we had no line-forgetting disasters like last year. I hope those kids that don't graduate this year continue to do English Theater again next year.

After all the skits had been presented, we had lunch while the judges deliberated, and then everyone came back for prizes and certificates. While my group didn't win, or even place, I was very proud of them anyway. They competed against pre-university schools with 11th- and 12th- grade students who practice English on a regular basis, and they held their own. Pretty impressive for a super-mato school. Laura and I gave them a pep talk afterwards, telling them that if they study hard and work well, they could someday attend one of these big-city schools that won.

Everyone, winners and non-winners alike, received miniature English-Portuguese dictionaries, which were a big hit, and everyone went home smiling. Personally, I went home and fell asleep for 14 hours, but that was just me.

English Theater 2014: Success!

Mavudzi-Ponte's 2014 English Theater Team:

Me, Laura, Redi, and our nine boys. Love Izaquel's face (brown shirt)

Spring is in the Air!

Too much cuteness has been going on here lately. First, my neighbor Quizito got a puppy. Then, my cat had kittens. Finally, all the kids have been out and about at play. I figured it's about time to share some of the adorable goings-on from recent times.

2-day-old kittens

Bella, Quizito's new puppy

Simpo has his first bike ride.

"Mommy, wake up! I wanna play!"

D'awwwww.

The Beginning of the Adventure: Words for Moz 23

Dear Moz 23 Volunteers,

Congratulations on being selected to serve in Mozambique; it is a beautiful country with a difficult history and a bright future. You will find yourself changing in ways you never thought possible. I hope that these few words of advice and preparation will help you to have a happier, more productive, and more fulfilling service.

Mozambique will change you more than you will change it. Yeah, yeah, I know the "whole point" of what we're doing here is to change the world; to teach these kids something; to make a difference. Honestly, you will make a difference, but probably not the difference you thought you'd make. Did I teach any of my kids to speak English? Weeelll... not really. But did I make a difference in peoples lives? You betcha, almost as much as they made in mine! What will change the most will be your attitudes towards life, towards family, towards education, towards poverty... you will come out of this a different person. And that's a good thing; don't be afraid to change.

Get ready for a rollercoaster; being a PCV will be awesome and awful at the same time; you'll have highs and lows, probably within an hour of each other. And you know what? That's OK. That's Peace Corps, and eventually it will even out. You may well find yourself thinking "This can't possible get any worse. What the heck am I doing here?" For those times, you have your friends -- both fellow PCVs and Mozambicans -- to reach out to. Reach out. It helps.

Focus on the things you can do; don't worry about those you can't. Mozambique has a lot of problems. Corruption, hunger, poverty, the list goes on. You're a teacher; focus on that. Focus on your secondary projects. Don't worry about every little thing that sucks about life here, or you'll get bogged down and depressed. Maybe your school is corrupt -- you can't control that. But you can control how you discipline kids in your class, and how you interact with your students when you are in control. Focus on that. You can't stop corruption. You can't feed every hungry child. But you can have a positive impact in your community -- just find an opportunity and have at it!

You may be a teacher, but that doesn't mean you stop learning. You are coming in with a first-class eduction and real-life experience, but Mozambicans have a lot to teach you. Don't assume that you know what's best for them; be open to listening to how and why things are done here. It's easy to fall into the trap of judging Mozambique for not being more like America. Well, guess what? It's not America! And it never will be. Open yourself up to learning the deeper origins of the issues in Mozambique; you'll find yourself more integrated and more effective.

Be productive and all that; but remember to have fun. We're here to do a job. Do that job. But in your free time, make the most of living here! Enjoy yourself!  Have a meal with your neighbor's family. Visit other volunteers. Throw a party. Go to Victoria Falls and Kruger. Splurge on pizza in the big city. Wander into the bush for three days. See as much of Mozambique as you can. The adventures you have here will stay with you forever.

Get ready for the best damn two years of your lives. I know you're all worried about packing, and that's normal, but honestly; it's going to be OK. Unless you forget to bring underwear, you'll be fine.

Have a great trip to Mozambique, and I'll see you all at training in 7 weeks! Drink a milkshake in my honor!

BEMVINDOS!

P.S. Y'all better start bribing Peace Corps staff now; only one of you gets to replace me at my site, and it's a pretty sweet deal... just saying.

Ready, Redi?

Redi was the first person I met from Mavudzi-Ponte; She came and picked me up from Chimoio, took me to our house, and made me feel welcome. My first year of service, Redi and I lived together and had a blast. We work together as English teachers, we co-facilitate our REDES group, we are both involved in English Theater, and she hosts a once-a-week English lesson for the kiddos in Quizito and my community library program. Redi is my closest Mozambican friend, and I don't know what I would have done these last two years without her. She's got spunk, she's funny, she's a good friend, and most of all, she is a great teacher who really cares about her community.

Whodathunk my closest friend would be a 40-year-old sassy African lady.

Back in January, at a Peace Corps conference, I learned about a scholarship opportunity for Mozambican teachers through the U.S. Embassy in Maputo. The program, funded by the Department of State called TEA ('Teaching Excellence and Achievement,' funded by the Department of State) is a six-week teaching seminar in the United States with a two-week practicum in an American high school.

On my paper, I wrote in capital letters in red pen and circled and starred it: REDI!

Over the next three months, we worked hard on Redi's application. She filled out a mountain of paperwork and I wrote her a glowing letter of recommendation. She traveled to Maputo to take the TOEFL test and do an interview, and passed both with flying colors. She was approved as a finalist for Mozambique, and her name was sent to Washington to be considered alongside hundreds of others from all over the world for one of 75 spots in the cohort. And then we waited.

...and waited...

...and waited...

The original deadline for the decision, the end of July, came and went. August came and went. September came -- and then, one day, Redi appeared at my door, flushed with excitement. "Can I check my e-mail on your computer? The decisions are out!"

Redi, Laura and I huddled around my little laptop and cursed the incredibly slow internet connection as it loaded Gmail.

Loading. (I closed my eyes and cross my fingers.)

Loading. (Redi crossed herself and said a prayer)

Loading -- and then!

"Congratulations! It is my pleasure to inform you of your acceptance to the 2015 TEA Cohort."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

We all screamed, at a pitch probably only dogs and small children could hear. We jumped, hugged each other, and screamed and laughed some more. Redi went running out the door, past all the other teacher's houses, shouting "I'M GOING TO AMERICA! I'M GOING TO AMERICA!" Everyone else came outside and started hugging and clapping, shouting "LET'S ALL GO TO AMERICA!" It was a very intense communal joy, and one of the happiest moments of my time in Mozambique.

This program will most definitely change Redi's life for good. Without this opportunity, Redi almost certainly would never have made it to the U.S. -- and most likely, she probably would never have left southern Africa. During those six weeks of next spring, she'll make contacts and learn new skills that will help her to go far and do whatever she wants to do.

I'm so proud of her, and so happy that I could help her to make this dream a reality. Sometimes, in Peace Corps, we lose hope, because we don't see the immediate results of what we're doing. In the movie Blood Diamond, Leonardo DiCaprio's character says "Peace Corps types only stay around long enough to realize they're not helping anyone." Well, at least in this case, I feel proud to know that I did help make a difference in someone's life, and it's a big difference too.

World, get ready for Redi!

Thanks for everything, Redi! You deserve this!

Close of Service Conference -- Already!?

This is a photo of Moz 19, my training class in Mozambique, as we swore in to become Peace Corps volunteers at the end of our ten-week training in 2012. At the time, two years in Mozambique seemed like an eternity to me. Would I be able to live here for that long? Could I stick it out? I wasn't sure.

And yet, last week, Moz 19 had our Close of Service conference, which marks the beginning of the end. Two years have flown by, and now I find myself thinking, "Will I be able to go back to the States" and "How am I going to leave this place?"

The conference was a very emotional time, because it was the last time we were all going to be together -- during the actual close of service process in November/December, only a few volunteers go through the process in Maputo at a time. On the last day of the conference, we finished our sessions early and went with Custodio, everyone's favorite Peace Corps staffer, to enjoy ourselves at the Feira Popular, which has bumper cars and a swing ride, among other things. It was a bittersweet night; everyone had fun, but after a while, people slowly started trickling back to the hotel and out of our lives forever.

First thing he ever said to us: "Hi, I'm Custodio. And I'm awesome."

 After my first year of Peace Corps dragged on like nothing else, I can't believe how fast the second year has gone. It's funny to remember the things that I was scared of before coming -- bugs, heat, loneliness -- and finding that those things don't really bother me anymore. (Seriously, as I write this it's over 100F outside and I'm comfortably wearing long sleeves.)

I remember having a complete breakdown upon finding out where my site was -- I cried so much that Custodio, upon walking by me, looked very uncomfortable at the sight of me sobbing into Veronica's dress, and awkwardly said, "Well... OK... I'll just come back later..." Now, I love Mavudzi to bits -- my students, my friends, my colleagues -- everything. Whoever replaces me is one lucky duck.

I remember getting to my house, an empty, sweltering concrete box, and thinking "Oh no... what have I done!?" Now, this house is filled with the ghosts of so many memories -- good memories, bad memories, funny memories, powerful memories -- and seems anything but empty to me.

I remember walking into the conference room during Staging in Philadelphia, and being overwhelmed by all the other prospective Peace Corps volunteers, thinking "Who the heck am I to be in a group with these people who have their lives all figured out?" Now, those people are my closest friends, with whom I share everything, and I have my own life much more figured out -- so much so, apparently, that my colleagues voted me "Most Likely to Be Country Director of Peace Corps Mozambique in 20 Years". (Um... what? But, hey, thanks!)

From the original 68 volunteers in Moz 19, we lost 11 volunteers because they had transferred here from Cape Verde and had only one year of service in Mozambique. We lost several others for various reasons -- family emergencies, medical conditions, dissatisfaction with Peace Corps or Mozambique. 49 of us made it all the way to the end, and I wholeheartedly congratulate each and every one of them. A few are even extending their time, an option that I seriously considered and ultimately decided was not for me.

Here's to you, Moz 19! We did it!

Two Years Later

From here on out, there are a lot of "lasts". Some of them are very sad (The last time I will ever see some very important people), some of them are stupid (The last bar of soap I'll ever open in Mozambique), and some of them are great (The last time I'll ever have to ride a chapa!)

So what are my plans from here on out? Short-term, after close of service, I'll be traveling with my closest PCV friend Lisa (dune-surfing in Namibia, safari-ing in Swaziland, and exploring Capetown) before flying to Germany to spend a (hopefully) white Christmas with my family. I cannot express how excited I am to celebrate a real Christmas, with cold weather, warm fires, family, hot chocolate, and snow.

After that, I'll return to Texas for a while, awaiting the results of several job and scholarship applications, and I'll start living the rest of my life.

Weird.