My Criança Problem

I have an infestation problem in my house. It's not the spiders -- I do have a lot of those, but I don't mind as long as they stay up by the ceiling beams and eat the mosquitoes and fruit flies. My problem isn't cockroaches, either -- ever since we sprayed the house with pesticide two months ago, they've all but disappeared. No, my problem is mammalian, and it's not rats or mice or stray animals. My problem is crianças -- children.

Since the day I moved in, in an effort to be open and welcoming to my community, I've literally had an open-door policy. After I get out of bed, get dressed and sweep the house, I open both doors to my house and usually leave them open all day. People are free to wander in, say hi, and wander back out again. Sure, this sometimes means that a neighbor will come over to chat at the exact moment that I sit down to start lesson planning -- but really, it's not much of an inconvenience for me to put my books aside and chat for a half an hour. Plus, if I really am in the middle of something (say, a Skype conversation or a the end of a really good book), I can just close my doors and people will take the hint.

Unfortunately, lately the individuals who come over to  my house the most (the children) have been getting more daring recently. If the doors are closed, they'll stand outside and say "COM LIÇENSA!" over and over and over until I let them in. If I'm sitting in the living room reading my kindle, and they'll come in and start shouting and punching each other.  Recently, they've even started opening the door and walking in whenever they want to. If I try to ignore them, to give them a hint to leave, they just follow me around and ask me about all of my belongings. ("Professora Helena, what's Nutella? Is it like peanut butter? Can I try some? Why not?")

The last straw happened last night.

It was 8 p.m. and my door was closed, but not yet locked. I was getting ready to curl up in bed and read before going to sleep. I washed my face and feet, brushed my teeth, and then pulled out my xixi bucket to pee before snuggling under the covers. While peeing, I hear a faint shuffling sound. I look up.

There, standing silently in my bedroom doorway, watching me pee, is Nilsa, the 9-year old from next door.

I wasn't really sure what to do. I had never been in this situation before. I couldn't get up and close the door mid-stream, so after a few bewildered deer-in-headlights moments, I frantically waved her away.

"What are you doing? Get out!" I said.

When I was finished, I walked out into the living room to wash my hands, and there she sat, on the couch, expectantly holding my deck of cards.

"Let's play." She said.

"No. I'm going to bed now." I said, somewhat angrily.

She stared at me and didn't move.

"I said, I'm going to bed."

"Ok." She shrugged, and didn't budge. She started shuffling the cards.

"Nilsa. I'm going to bed. you have to go home now."

She stared at me for another few minutes and then reluctantly put my cards back and trudged home.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I like children. There's a reason I wanted to be a teacher, the same reason I used to work at a preschool and got all my spending money in high school by babysitting. However, sneaky ninja children that walk unannounced into my house and creepily watch me go about my business -- that I do not like. So this evening, when the usual storm of children barges into my house expecting me to entertain them, we're gonna have to have a serious talk about boundaries and privacy.

It's time I get this infestation under control.