Blogathon Day 2: A Little Normal

Americans are generally very positive people. Sure, you can't turn on the news without seeing people screaming at each other, but that's not what I'm talking about. When you pass someone on the street and say "How are you?" they say "Good, thanks!" and usually will flash you a smile.

Mozambicans are not like that. Don't get me wrong, Mozambicans are not negative people, they just don't sugarcoat things. When I see someone I know, I smile big and ask how they are, and they almost always stoically respond with "Um pouco normal," (Literally, this means "I'm a little normal.")

I ask my students how their break was. Um pouco normal. I asked my colleague how her test went. Um pouco normal. I ask my friend how her big birthday party was. Surprise! Um pouco normal.

At first, I thought everyone was just really grumpy. Looking back, I know I probably seemed really strange to them. ("Why is the branca always so happy about everything? She smiles all the time. It's creepy.") Now I don't think it's quite as weird. I'm still not used to it (I still smile at everyone), but, well, let's put it this way. It's um pouco normal.

Blogathon Day 1: Coming Home Fat

In America, when you come home from a vacation at the beach, you hear things like "You look great!" and "Nice tan!" People ask you how the water was and what you ate, they want to hear all about how nice it was to relax on the sand with a cold drink in one hand and a good book in the other.

Here, that's not the case. When I came home yesterday, my well-meaning Mozambican colleagues had other things to say, such as "Ew, you got brown." and "Nice shoes, how much did they cost? Nice capulana, how much did it cost? Nice *insert any new item here*, how much did it cost?" and of course, my very favorite, "You are getting soooooo fat."

Mozambicans LOVE to tell you you're getting fat. To a Mozambican, being fat is chique. Being told you're fat is a compliment. So they won't hesitate to tell you you're fat ALL THE TIME. It doesn't matter if you're actually fatter or not --- you've still "gotten fat." (Let's ignore for a minute the fact that I've actually lost weight since coming to Mozambique.)

One time, after I came home from a short trip, I was walking through the town and saudaring people. ("Saying hi.") I passed my neighbor. "Welcome home! You're so fat!". I saw my friend. "Wowee, you must have eaten well cause you got FAT!" I saw my students "Teacher! So fat!" And finally, I passed an old lady I know. "Hey there, fatty!" she said toothlessly.

I know for a fact that this old lady is blind as a bat, so I call B.S. on this whole "fat" business.

Now pass me those chocolate cookies.

Houston, We Had Some Technical Difficulties!

Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!

Right after coming back from America, where I finally updated my software and programs and got my computer in tip-top condition, it decided to unceremoniously crash on me, leaving me with no way to even get online long enough to say "We'll be interrupting your regularly scheduled blogging for a short while."

Luckily, while I was enjoying myself at the beach in Ilha de Moçambique for the trimester break, my lovely friend and fellow Tete resident Karmen was able to bring me an emergency netbook from my parents in San Antonio. (Thanks, Mom!) So two weeks and many internet-withdrawal bouts later, I'm finally back online.

Now, I know that I usually update every few days, and now it's been a month since I've written anything of substance. I've gotten several angry messages ("You there! Get your lazy butt off the couch and update your stupid blog!")

Therefore, to make it up, and to get rid of the HUGE backlog of blog entries I have.... announcing:

THE MONTH-LONG BLOGATHON!

Starting tomorrow, I'll be posting once a day for an entire month! Look forward to hilarious anecdotes of traveling in Mozambique, sobering stories of poverty, and heartwarming tales of hope.

It all starts tomorrow. Get excited.